Saturday, December 30, 2006

Good Morning~ I hope that everyone is having a great start to their weekend...

So, what are you doing for New Year’s Eve???

We’re going to get very tipsy on champagne and light off fireworks for New Years Eve… That’s right, I just said that their will be drunks with explosives.. LOL We figure that we can torture the shit out of our neighbors… We have a couple of fire extinguishers on hand just incase of any accidents.

I hope you have a good one and stay safe.... XOXO


You Don't have To Own A Cat To Appreciate This One:

We were dressed and ready to go out to the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our pet parakeet and put the cat out in the back yard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the house. The cat that we had put in the yard scoots back into the house. We didn't want the cat in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi while I went inside to get the cat. The cat runs up the stairs with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab my wife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty all night. So she explains to the driver that I will be out soon.

"He's just gone upstairs to say goodbye to his mother."

A few minutes later I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long", I said as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard.

The cab driver hit a parked car........



Roxy Klein at 8:46:00 AM



Friday, December 29, 2006

Hello ~ Hello ~

I have been having the most outrageous dreams lately, everything from extremely sexual dreams to violent and everything in between. Sad, falling, getting caught, floating, hurt, hurting someone else, every single night.. It’s just crazy. Last night I had a nightmare that I was caught inside someone else’s house going through their things. Not stealing, just looking…

Very off the wall…

There is no rhyme of reason to any of it but we think that it’s due to the mattress. We are also waking up with extreme back pain. So now we are looking at getting a new mattress. As much as we fuck on that thing, I think we just destroyed it…. The bed usually ends up in the middle of the room and it looks as if we’ve dented it. LOL…. I’m going to have to unhook all of the bondage straps before it gets delivered….



Well, gotta go for now, chat with you later... Kisses



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Roxy Klein at 9:31:00 AM



Thursday, December 28, 2006

Hello All~

Jackass 2 is hilarious!!! I’m so glad that we got the DVD. It’s packed with all sorts of extras including out takes (bloopers). How is that a movie made completely of out takes has a section for out takes? Some really good stuff that shouldn’t have been left out of the movie….. I hope to god they make number 3 soon…

Sorry to make this so short but I’ve got to go… We’ve got a lot cleaning to do. We have to make room for all of the stuff we got for Christmas. And we still have to go see my folks to spend Christmas with them……

Have a great day! XOXO

Roxy Klein at 10:46:00 AM



Wednesday, December 27, 2006

DAMNITOL - Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN - Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.

PEPTOBIMBO - Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

DUMBEROL - When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.

FLIPITOR - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and theurge to flip off other drivers.

MENICILLIN - Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, "You make me want to be a better person.

"BUYAGR - A Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency,duration, and credit limit of spending spree.

JACKASSPIRIN - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.

NAGAMENT - When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the sameirritation level as nagging him.

Roxy Klein at 9:17:00 AM



Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Good Morning ~

I hope that everyone got what they wanted for Christmas! I know that Brett & I got a lot more then we expected. HAPPY- HAPPY- JOY- JOY! Unfortunately Brett and I have to go out amongst the nuts and crazy’s today so we can pick up Jackass 2. WOOOHOOOOO! For those of you that missed it in the theater, do yourself a favor and go get it! I plan on spending the rest of my day laughing my ass off!


Well I’ve got to go and hook up my new flat screen! ! Have a great day! XOXO


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Roxy Klein at 10:01:00 AM



Monday, December 25, 2006


Roxy Klein at 9:26:00 AM



Sunday, December 24, 2006

TEQUILA COOKIES-CUERVO COOKIES
Read the directions very carefully! This is the BEST Christmas Cookie recipe EVER!



1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
**Sample the Cuervo to check quality.


Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again to be sure it is of the highest quality,** pour one level cup and drink.


Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.


At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, ** try another cup just in case.


Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.


Pick the frigging fruit off floor.


Mix on the turner.



If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.


**Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.


Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. ** Check the Jose Cuervo.


Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.


Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.


Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to bean off the turner.


Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the **** Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.


CHERRY MISTMAS

Roxy Klein at 7:44:00 AM



Good morning ~ A friend sent this to me and I wanted to share it with you. HAVE A GREAT DAY! XOXO


Mayonnaise Jar and 2 CUPS OF COFFEE

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 Hours in a day is not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table And poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the Empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - God, family, children, health, friends, and Favorite passions - - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. So... Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play With your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

"Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked". It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."


Roxy Klein at 7:27:00 AM



Friday, December 22, 2006

I’m sorry it’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve posted. With the holidays coming up I’ve been extremely busy. Plus I’ve got a few new projects that I’ve been focusing on that have taken up most of my free time.

And now my computer is running at a snails pace! GREAT! Just what I needed this morning. Well it looks like we are going to be spending Christmas here with Brett’s family and then we’re going down to see my folks after the New Year. It doesn’t even feel like X-mas. It’s been so warm here and there is NO forecast of snow anytime in the near future…

Oh, before I forget, be sure to watch The Cowboys on Christmas day!

Well it's been an interesting year. As we approach the end of 2006, and with Christmas only days away, I want to say thank you for being so interested in reading my blog. I wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas. Just stay safe out there, and have a good time. I will be back sometime next week to post, and likely won't be responding to e-mails until then.

I’ve gotta go for now but I’ll leave you with a little funny… XOXO

Subject: Anatomy 101

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, thedefinition for each is listed below...


GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still cleaning,or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."


I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.


Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome since both ultimately result in death.




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Roxy Klein at 8:36:00 AM



Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work today, I sick, headache, stomach ache, legs hurt, I no come work."

The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."

Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say, I feel great. I be work soon.....you got nice house."

Happy Humpday! XOXO

Roxy Klein at 10:52:00 AM



Friday, December 01, 2006

Hello ~ Hello ~

I’m so glad the weekend is finally here! It’s been VERY WARM these last few days so Brett took the day off yesterday and we got some things done with our cars and around the house. We also checked out Superman… I’m not a big fan of Superman but It was actually pretty good. We’ve been watching a lot of movies lately… Going back over the last few months we’ve checked out:

Bench warmers: If you’re in a goofy mood, check it out. It was very funny!
Final Destination 3, eh, nothing great.
Scary Movie 4 was absolute shit.. Don’t even bother with it…
I could have done without V for Vendetta as well.
Inside Man was pretty good.
An Inconvenient Truth was very good and a little disturbing…
See No Evil: Pretty good if your into horror.
Over the Hedge: Funny and very well done.
Ice Age 2: I thought that the first one was better.
Little Man: Some funnies in it but for the most part, ehhh..
The Da Vinci Code: Good but you have to pay attention.
Click: I wasn’t expecting a comedy/drama
The Break up: Once again, most of the good stuff was in the trailer
Mission Impossible 3: Oddly enough better than the first 2.
An American Haunting: Ehhh
Stay Alive: Don’t bother
Nacho Libre: I like Jack Black but JESUS, that was fucking stupid.
The Omen: Ehh, remake…
Accepted….. HE HEEEEE, Funny!
You, Me & Dupree… I was expecting it to be better.

I’m sure I’m missing some but this list doesn’t include movies that we saw in the theater… I need to get away from the TV…. LOL

Well I’m outta here… I hope that you all have a great weekend! XOXO

Roxy Klein at 4:46:00 PM



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