Roxy Klein ~ The Diary of a Distant Muse...

Good Morning~

I’m dragging ass in a bad way this morning…For the last 2 nights I have tossed and turned all night long and I believe that I kept Brett up as well. So this morning we both look like we have been slapped by Mr. Sandman.. LOL…

We had a GREAT time last night… Cooked out, had a few drinks and talked for hours. A decent size thunderstorm came through and knocked out the power but not for long. I was lovin’ it! Unfortunately it’s probably the last good thunderstorm of the year.

I’m not too sure what we have planned for this weekend other than watching the game and going out to eat. I’m going to take off for now but I will be posting this weekend.

XOXO

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Sex, Sex and MORE SEX…..

The Act of Slurping! Slurpees, soup or cock?

Two Hoes don’t make it right.

Or Nuts and Crazy’s?

I just don’t know where to start. These are pre written topics that I have ready to post. I’m just not sure which one of them to do first. LOL…

Alex, I’ll take Sex, Sex and MORE SEX for 200 please.

Sex, Sex and MORE SEX…..

We start with “The Broken bone” – When the man pulls out too far then misses on the way back in. OUCH! Slow down and you might save yourself from a broken dick!

Stop and Hold- Too close to coming? BITCH..

Sex on Wheels- The bed ends up in the middle of the room and everything on the night stands are gone.

Dehydration from breathing too heavy and you have to go get something to re hydrate yourself due to the fact that EVERYTHING including your water fell off of your nightstand.

The Uterus punching bag- Too far, too deep and the throbbing continues hours after the initial penetration..

Freshly fucked hair knot from friction. Girls, you and I know this one all too well.

The Fucked up cramp in your leg from holding a strange position. I’ve gotten these in my ass, back and arms as well.

The WASH UP after sex and your wearing most of the load.. Add water to cum and it becomes an instant adhesive.

Sensitivity when the deed is done… Touch it and DIE!

And last but not least, THE Twitch- Laying there after sex, trying to gain composure and eye site.

I purposely left out a few for your next installment of SEX, SEX and MORE SEX!!!

I’ve gotta get out of here because all work and no play makes Roxy a dull girl…

Enjoy your day! XOXO

Hello~ Hello~

Glad to hear that all of you survived your Monday. Some of you did better than others but all in all you made it! I’m feeling a wee rough this morning even after 2 cups of coffee. (sigh) I’ve got sooo many things to do this week I’m really not sure where to start. I am cleaning out the attic and getting rid of all sorts of things to make room for new stuff… I came across some really cool movie posters that I forgot I had. I purchased them for a photo shoot and never used them.. Go figure..

Speaking of movies…

I was listening to Bob Sagget on Elliot in the Morning a little while back and they were talking about this movie he’s wrapping up called “Farce of the Penguins” by Think Films. A huge cast of people donated their time to this for little and or no pay. It’s all about Penguins talking and their mouths aren’t moving, screwing and shitting. Sagget describes penguins having sex as a bowling pin falling on top of another one! It might last 20 seconds. LOL

Samuel L. Jackson narrates it. Lewis Black, Mo'Nique and Tracey Morgan are in it however, the alphabetical list of cameos includes Christina Applegate, Jason Biggs, Mario Cantone, Dane Cook, Norm Crosby, Dave Coulier, Drea De Matteo, Adam Duritz, Harvey Fierstein, Gilbert Gottfried, Jonathan Katz, Jaime Kennedy, David Koechner, Lori Loughlin, Norm MacDonald, Carlos Mencia, Jeffrey Ross, Jonathan Silverman, John Stamos, Abe Vigoda, and Damon Wayans.

sounds like it’s going to be pretty good…

Well I’m out of here for a little while…. Have a rockin' Day!!!

XOXO

“I might like you better if we slept together” I CAN’T GET THAT SONG OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!! God, I hate when this happens!!!

Good Morning!

Sorry my post was so short Thursday but I was so hungry and I couldn’t shake the sleepies… So I ate and passed out till noon…

I hope that everyone had a great weekend. I swear that ours just flew by… then again the weekend never seems long enough. Autumn officially began Saturday and the following day we had 90 degree weather. Figures! However we did have an incredible thunderstorm last night that lulled me to sleep… Now it looks as if we won’t see 90’s till next spring! WOOOOOOO WHOOOOOOO!

Well it looks like the month of October is going to be one big vacation for Brett. He’s got nine days of paid vacation time and he’s taking off Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays for the first 3 weeks in October. So technically he will have 15 days off if you count the weekends! We have shit load of things planned for this time off. PLUS our 2 year anniversary is the 27th which falls on a Friday and I think he’s got something planned…

I heard that Jackass 2 did very well over the weekend ranking them # 1. Now I really can’t wait to see this movie. I think we’re going to check it out sometime this week during the day when it’s not so crowded. I’ll have to let you know how it is..

I’m out of here… Have a great day! XOXO

Ummmm, I woke up this morning to being fondled and kissed ever so gently on the lips. Now that’s a great way to wake up! I did not want to get out of bed this morning. It felt so good using Brett as a pillow. I’m feeling very lazy and extremely hungry. Odd! I’m never hungry first thing in the morning…

Anyway, I’m going to grab something to eat and probably go back to bed for a little while. If I don’t come back later, have a great day!

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Oh fuck me all to hell! I’m out of creamer!

Figures...

Good morning….

Does anyone know who won the game last night? I fell asleep...

Crap, hold on let me check.......

HAHAHAHAAAAAAA, Hell yeah! The Steelers lost!!!!! Well that makes up for no creamer this morning. LOL

Apparently I have a twin roaming around here in Richmond… I have gotten several emails asking me if I was near Funny Bones last week. Sorry, No, that was not me but one sure way to find out is to come over and ask me.. I promise I won’t bite!

I also have a twin in Florida. My father was down in Miami on a business trip and was having lunch at an outdoor café with some clients and he swore that he saw me waiting on tables. He actually had to walk up to the girl and ask, “Dawn, is that you?” My real name is Dawn by the way… Now if I can just find the girls to do a photo shoot I’d be in business & poor Brett would explode!!! LOL

Well I’m going to get some breakfast and try to get some things done today…. Have a Rockin’ Tuesday!!!

XOXO

Oh CRAP! I’m out of coffee filters.. Well now, that’s just a shitty way to start off a Monday. I am debating on whether or not to use a paper towel. Fuck it! If I don’t get a cup this morning I’ll be a useless bitch for the rest of the day.

WHAT A WEEKEND!!!!!!

We did exactly what we planned to do… Absolutely NOTHING!

We blew off all day Saturday to play games, watch TV, sleep and fuck around. Basically we slept as much as we could over the weekend. It was nice to just lay there and do nothing. We ended up catching Jackass Saturday night and I was shocked that it was uncensored! Granted it played at 1 in the morning but it’s about time… Even though I have seen it many times, I just couldn’t stop laughing. Have you ever had one of those laughing fits where your practically in tears and can’t breath? That was me Saturday night. I laughed so much that my cheeks still hurt.

And as if I need to mention it but…

DALLAS WON!!!!! And The PATRIOTS WON!!!

I am a Patriots & Bears fan myself but Dallas has grown on me. There really wasn’t much use for the “Bad Call Brick” last night, thank god… Poor puppies freak every time Brett picks it up. LOL

Last but not least, it was FUCK FEST 2006 at our house! Brett decided to put a smack down on me and NOW I’m having problems walking.. More accurately I’m walking with a limp and a little bit hunched over. He did me like it was going to be the last time he ever had sex. I think I need a Tylenol.

Well I need to get going… I hear some movement outside and it’s creeping me out. I'm going to check on that ….

Have a great day and try not to work too hard!

XOXO

Good Morning!

I actually got to sleep in till 9! God it feels fantastic outside!!! I have the windows open and ceiling fans on to let a nice breeze in… Fall is right around the corner! YIPPY!!!!!!

I’ve told you all that I bought Brett one of those SLVR’s for his birthday. It’s capable of doing video as well as photos. Brett decided to do a video of me Tuesday night. That little shit tapes me passed out in the bed snoring! Then if that wasn’t bad enough he has been showing it to people AND replaying it for me over and over again…. My friend Josh asked Brett to send it to him so he could post it on myspace.com… Ugh! FUCKERS! You know that is NOT going to happen...

Well the weekend is finally here. The only thing that we’re planning for is the game on Sunday and that’s about it. Dallas VS The Redskins… Hmmm, I wonder who’s going to win.. LOL

Have a great weekend everyone!

XOXO

AND I’M UP!!!! Oh holy hangover! My head is pounding and I feel like absolute crap. It was just a piss poor decision to drink anything yesterday. Oh well, live and learn…

After I posted yesterday I started thinking about the “Bad Call Brick” and how great it would be to hum this object at people for fucking up?

Girlfriend nagging you too much? ……. WHACK!!!!!!!
Restaurant fuck up your order?...... WHACK!!!!!!!!!
Husband gawking at some chick?.......... WHACK!!!!!!! Lights out bitch!

There are 101 uses for this thing.

LOL, next thing you know, I’ll be posting a blog titled, I got hit with a Bad Call Brick!

Have a great day!

GOOD MORNING!!!

How in the hell is everyone? We had a fantastic weekend!!!

We cooked out Friday night… We did a surf & turf with filets and crab legs. Chris picked up 7 lbs of king crab legs. They were almost as long as our arms. I was able to complete ¾ of one before I felt like I was going to pop! Actually we all looked like we were going to pop when we were done. Which reminds me; one word of advice? Don’t ever fuck on a full stomach! UGH… Talking about uncomfortable… Bent over hanging off the side of the bed, the food only has one way to go! I was like, “if you don’t back my fat ass up onto the bed I will ruin sex for you for the rest of your life.” I was promptly picked up and leveled out. LOL…

I’ve got bruises everywhere…My arms, head, legs, back & butt… UGH! I think we need to stop being so rough in bed. I have a huge bruise on the inside of my arm.. It’s purple!

Dallas unfortunately lost last night .. Who the fuck did they loose to again? LOL…. Any who, It was a pretty good game and we had a lot of fun till someone had had to pull out the “The Bad Call Brick” and scare the crap out of me. “The Bad Call Brick” is a piece of foam in the shape of a brick and painted to really look like one. Apparently you throw it at the TV if you don’t like the calls being made. I catch this object out of the corner of my eye being thrown at the screen not realizing it was fake. I jumped! The puppies took off and started barking… I thought for a brief second that Brett had lost his mind… It gave him a good laugh..

Well it’s time for me to go… I hope that you all have a great day!!!

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I actually slept like a baby last night! Brett couldn’t get me out of bed this morning to save his life. Poor thing actually had to send him self off to work this morning…

We are going to get some kick ass filets for the grill tonight… Maybe do a little surf and turf on the porch by candle light … THEN, I think we’re going to do a little gaming, fuck, snuggle, fuck, play with the pups, workout, fuck, watch a movie and fuck some more… Sounds like a great time to me!!!

Have a great weekend everyone! XOXO

Hello ~ Hello ~

I hope that everyone had a great Labor Day!!!. Brett & I spent a lot of the day snuggling and goofing around with each other. We went to bed early last night and ended up catching a little bit of the William Shatner Roast…. I wasn’t able to keep my eyes open to watch all of it but what I did see was fucking hilarious. Betty White is a dirty bird and Farrah is a complete idiot… Any who… Speaking if idiots, Jack Ass 2 is coming out soon! Now I can’t wait to see that. It looks hilarious!

I’m on the hunt for a new cell phone. I’ve gone through 3 phones in the last 2 years and I want a new one. That (chocolate) phone is the bomb but I think I’m going to hold out till I see something a little hotter! I got Brett a SLVR a little while back and I’m glad that I waited cause I think I would have hummed that fucker onto the highway. Something about that phone just works my nerves. I’m going to donate my other cell phones to a women’s shelter.

K, well I’m out of here…. I’ve gotta get some things done. Have a GREAT day!!!! XOXO

Good Morning!

I hope that you all are having a fabulous holiday…. We had a great cookout over the weekend. Lot’s of bratwurst and beer! Well I don’t drink beer so I stuck with my mixed drinks. We didn’t get a chance to put up our volleyball net but we found other things to do to keep ourselves occupied. We finally got our ceiling fan put up on the porch. A little late now that summers over but better late than never.

Brett fucked the shit out of me last night. Unfortunately all of our rough play resulted in a bruised body. He knocked me off the side of the bed so I had to brace my upper body on the floor while he was having his way doggy style on the bed. I was practically doing a handstand when I came then almost lost arm control and landed on my head. I still have the shakes this morning…

I have to go and do a little shopping this morning for a new jacket. I hope that you all enjoy the rest of your holiday and be safe.

XOXO

That storm was LAME!!!! A little wind, a little rain, a lot boring!!!!

I had to get up early to cancel an appointment that I had this morning. I’m just not feeling up for being social today. I think I’m going to relax for most of the day due to our busy schedule tomorrow. We have planned a little cookout for this weekend. I am addicted to grilling out! I’m hoping that the ground is not too saturated so we can put up our volleyball net. With Brett being 6’5 I hope that he is on my team. LOL…

Well, I’m going to go wake Brett up and try to convince him that a stack of warm pancakes will hit the spot this morning. LOL… Have a great day!!!!!

XOXO

I just made a cup of coffee and plopped my ass in front of the puter to see what’s going on this morning… How is everyone doing so far? Lot’s of rain but not a lot of wind yet. It’s starting to pick up a little but it shouldn’t go over 35mph.. For those of you that still have to go into work today, try and stay dry…

Have a great day and stay safe!