Thursday, July 28, 2005
Brett & I ended up having one of those lazy nights where all you can do is veg out on the couch and the remote is glued to the palm of your hand. You’re lucky if you make it to the kitchen to eat. Bathroom breaks are set by commercials and you just hold each other.
We LOVE horror, stand-up comedy and action flicks so we pretty much agree on the same stuff. One of our favorite TV shows is “The Shield”. I started a little late in the game however he showed me one episode from season 3 and I HAD to watch everything that happen prior to. So for 2 weeks I literally sat in front of the TV and watched every episode back to back on DVD till I was caught up. I know, sounds a little bit much but the 4th season was about to start and I wanted to be caught up on what was happening… FANTASTIC SHOW! It’s pretty explicit for FX… I just wish they would move the show to HBO to do it justice. If you get the chance I HIGHLY recommend it…. I’m choking down my cup of coffee so that I may run some errands this morning with out killing anyone… There’s nothing worse then a driver that’s half awake swerving all over the road with a cell phone in hand. Time for me to go… I hope you all have a great day! XOXO
Roxy Klein at 6:37:00 AM
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Happy Hump Day Everyone!
Well last night Brett & I ended up seeing Wedding Crashers. The movie was pretty funny.. Vince Vaughn is a trip. This poor guy gets put through it in most of the scenes. If you want a good laugh, go check it out. I would go into more detail but I don’t want to spoil it for the people who have not seen it yet. Just one more day of this unbearable heat then things can go back to normal. Thank GOD! Gotta go for now so I’m going to leave you with some funnies! Have a great Wednesday! XOXO Jack was going to be married to Jill, so his father sat him down for a little fireside chat. He says, "Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother and said, "Here, try these on." So, she did and said, "These are too big, I can't wear them." So I replied, "Exactly. I wear the pants In this family and I always will." Ever since that night we have never had any problems." "Hmmm," says Jack. He thinks that might be a good thing to try. So, on his honeymoon, Jack takes off his pants and says to Jill, "Here try these on." So she does and says, "These are too large, they don't fit me." So Jack says, "Exactly. I wear the pants in this family and I always will and I don't want you to ever forget that." Then Jill takes off her pants and hands them to Jack and says, "Here, you try on mine." So he does and says, "I can't get into your pants." So Jill says, "Exactly. And if you don't change your smart ass attitude, you never will." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look !" she said. I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me." For her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale. Services are pending for the dead sucker who tried to pull this off!
Roxy Klein at 9:14:00 AM
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
Good morning~
Nice little storm we had last night and it was about time! This area really needed the rain. We just sat on the balcony sipping margaritas, watching the light show and listening to the thunder. I hope that everyone is fairing well in this nasty heat wave. It’s going to be a scorcher today & a low tonight of 80. Ughhh! I feel like I’m going to melt… Brett & I will be taking a trip to N.C. in a few weeks to visit my folks. Were going to be staying at the family cabin. Right before the holidays of 2004 my family decided to sell their chalet in Vermont and purchase a cabin in N.C. for family get-togethers. This place is beautiful! It’s very private and set back about a mile off the road. It’s on 35 acres of land with lots of trails & streams to explore. There’s a huge pond with a small pier, paddle boat and a canoe. The pond is loaded with cat fish, bass and a few other types of fish (their names elude me at the moment) a fire pit next to the pond with benches cemented into the ground, a huge grill and a cabana. They also purchased dune buggies & 4 wheelers to get around the property. Some of these trails are outrageously steep and hard to get to. They have stocked that place with all sorts of fun things like it was camp.. They are going to be adding an in ground pool with in the next year & another boat to the pond. They are also trying to get a 27 acre plot that is adjacent to the property to build another house. At the very end of one side of the property they are backed up to a horse farm. . It is a fantastic place to just get away… I’ve spent a couple of days down there to collect my thoughts and relax. However any more then 3 days, the silence is deafening. While were down there we might do some photo shoots. It’s quite private so I can get naked, run around outside & scream at the top of my lungs and not a soul could see or hear me… If we do I'll have to post some pics of this place. Well time for me to go. I hope that you all have a great day and try to stay cool!! XOXO
Roxy Klein at 7:12:00 AM
Monday, July 25, 2005
Yeah, Yeah, I know, I'm talking about the weather again...
Oh, I’m not liking this… just plain nasty for the next few days. It’s going to be 100 today with a heat index of 115, 102 tomorrow and 104 Wednesday. I don’t sunbathe any more so there is nothing even remotely good about this weather. As soon as you walk outside you’re instantly covered in moisture, your clothes stick to you and your hair adheres to your neck. YUCK! The only time I like to feel like that is when I’m being fucked, so unless the sun grew a dick and I’m the first in line, I’m not going anywhere outside for the next few days! Well I hope that everyone had a great weekend! It was a nice LONG & lazy weekend for us… Brett & I took it easy for the most part, watching movies, cooking for each other & screwing around. Hmmm, does anyone still use that term? Brett is ex-military so we also went through our belongings and made donation boxes for AMVETS. All-n-all it was a very relaxing weekend. News: My picture/drawing was recently published in a book called “The Guild of Erotic Artists: v. 1 by: Colin Ballard” It’s a compilation book of artists and photographers. After closer examination of the book, I realized that I’m also on the cover 3 times! Thank you Lara!!! Well, I’ve got to go for now. Have a fabulous day! XOXO
Roxy Klein at 6:15:00 AM
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Good Morning,
Please excuse the picture at the top or the lack there of. IT SEEMS that my title picture is TOO EXPLICIT to host on this free server. Well FUCK YOU VERY MUCH! I have an alternative to upload to and they won’t blow me shit! Remember this the next time YOU UNDERESTIMATE SOMEONE!
Roxy Klein at 7:25:00 AM
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Good Afternoon,
Well you all know that Wednesday is HUMPDAY and I've got to cook and get ready for a dinner party that Brett & I are throwing tonight. Here are a couple of funnies and I'll catch you later... Have a great day! XOXO WAL-MART One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Wayne behind him, "My elbow hurts. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Wayne replies."There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars and it's a lot cheaper than a doctor. "So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks." Thank you for shopping @Wal-Mart. That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a Stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a Sperm sample for good measure. Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer prints the following: 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9) 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.(Aisle 7) 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, "I'm sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral..... I'm a gynecologist". That's when the proctologist fainted!
Roxy Klein at 1:59:00 PM
Tuesday, July 12, 2005 Before I get into this, I just wanted to say that I’m not going to bore you with a lot of details with what happen between Lee & I. There was a strange turn of events that took place around December of 2003. It spanned over a 5 month period. There just came a point where Lee & I could not get along anymore, so we are no longer together. Now on to the good stuff.... I moved into a new condo last October… 3 floors (I’m not counting a basement or attic) This place is huge! I’ve got a very large screened in balcony that spans the entire back side of the condo overlooking a river with lot’s of tree’s for privacy. Plenty of air and no bugs! Moving is hell BUT something really great & unexpected came out of that whole experience. I met someone new. He was the owner of the moving company that I hired to get out of my apartment. Moving is stressful enough so I thought while I was setting up the appointment that I would request a little eye candy to ease the tension of the move. The two guys that showed up were nothing but muscle. One in particular was almost frightening! HUGE guy, about 6’2, muscles that make ARNOLD look like “the geek in gym class”, tattoos, just mammoth! He was practically blocking the sun. Thankfully the movers forgot to bring shrink wrap and called in to have someone bring it out. After talking to the owner on the phone, he was curious enough to bring it out himself. I hear a knock at the door, I come around the corner and right there in my doorway is this man standing 6’5, 215 lbs. dark hair, casual attire with a roll of shrink wrap in his hand. “Hi, I’m Brett with “blah, blah, blah.” I’m thinking to myself, “and so you are.” I had to ask, “Is everyone at this company HUGE?” There was a slight pause and then I realized how that must have come across. I tipped my head forward and giggled, he smiled.. That’s all it took… He stayed and chatted for about 2 hours, next thing I know, we are exchanging phone numbers. He called the next day and we’ve been together ever since...... I want to thank everyone that has written to me over the last few days welcoming me back. I hope to talk with all of you very soon. Take Care,
Roxy Klein at 6:56:00 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2005 And to whom this may consume...... COWS Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. . . Maybe we should give them all a cow. CONSTITUTION They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore. TEN COMMANDMENTS The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse? You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of politicians, lawyers, and judges. It creates a hostile work environment!
Roxy Klein at 11:06:00 PM
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Morning ~
Every now and then I get these little funnies from friends. I'm not big on forwarding them to others, so I'll just post them here. ~Thanks Raeford! Proof That The World is Nuts In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick??) *~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?) *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Roxy Klein at 9:02:00 AM
Friday, July 08, 2005
Sorry for the long, long, long, long, loooooonnnnnnng fucking delay! I needed to take a very large and well deserved break from the internet… A new perspective if you will. The only way to see things for what they really are is when you take yourself out of the proverbial box, step back and take a good long look. It’s been a little over a year now, I think I’ve looked enough.
I have a million and one things to talk about but not today. Today I’m organizing, getting my thoughts together and taking care of business. This is just a little note to say hello because based on my internet stats you all missed me a lot! It seems that even though this journal has been stagnant for over a year I still get (on average) 250 hits per day. Not impressions, not page views but actual hits… That’s fucking insane for a blog that’s been dead for over a year! So why let it go to waist… There are a lot of repeat offenders that check in just to see if I’m still around. I really appreciate the interest. I have a few things to correct on this blog before it’s back to normal so please be patient with me. I hope that you all have a rockin' day and I'll chat with you soon... XOXO~ Roxy
Roxy Klein at 7:56:00 AM
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